All I want is the same as everyone: Why Am I Here? And for how long?

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Fuck Authority

Punished for insufficience

Suffering for being different

It's good, It's good

do what you should

I say do what's right

stand up and fight

Fuck Authority!



Rules, Rules, Rules

Made to be broken

made to be followed

that makes no sense

If you follow blindly

you break the rules

if you don't,

you break the rules

You break the rules

and follow them too

broken by following

followed by breaking

That's the rules


Nyte of Dead Souls

'Twas on that night
Freezing Cold
and moonlit bright

Away from me 
my soul was taken
where: i would never see

Ripped from my heart
by he who craved most
and desecrated as an art

The Dark Lord
ruler of souls
advanced me towards

the final test
alive vs. dead
i died just like the rest


Our Death 

It's not like I'm against the rules or anything. I mean honestly could you think of a world without rules? It would be horrible, most would label it anarchic even. However, I think people should look closer, try to read in between the lines. To further prove my point, look at all the corruption in our world, in the u.s., New York State, even New Rochelle High School alone. All this corruption, I mean where could it possibly come from?! Well, believe it or not, it comes from the rules. Now I suppose you're wondering what could have possibly happened to this young man that he feels such enmity for the rules. As an answer to your questions, the youth who's message is being delivered to you does not hate the rules, in fact, he even likes some of them. The imprisoned youth merely wants people to look closer at the lies being spoon-fed to them and realize these same rules that are supposed to protect us inevitably destroy us.



I don't understand, they say: united we stand divided we fall
And yet when people are united they try to destroy that unity
And therefore, as a result of this unity, in the end we fall
just like people who attempt to swim the rapids in a waterfall

People blame everything except that which truly is the cause
They blame themselves, they blame the others, the schools
They blame the government, the politicians, their bosses
The people in power, but never do they think:

That this culture of theirs, that they cherish oh so much
This culture that they protect, is the cause of this destruction
And what they protect, truly the root of their offspring's destruction
So go ahead, blame everything else, eventually...

All those other things that you blamed in the process Are merely gonna turn 
Turn around, and blame you and then we're left in one nice big chain, 
where the only thing that ever happens
is the mere shifting of the blame

And you simply ask why? Why is this young male crying out
Is it because his life has been ruined, by some tragic event?
Is it because his family was shot at a young age?
Was he a victim of some horrible incident during his childhood years?

And While they may never know, they did know this:
That everywhere the young boy looked, he saw tragedy and destruction and desolation
He saw all that should be held sacred disregarded as something, something 
So seemingly commonplace, something people had become overly comfortable with

This technology, it was slowly, yet surely destroying the people who had created it
And as the youth saw this, he cried out once in terror, and then a second time,
A second time, not again in terror, but because he knew that there was no longer any hope
That those who had created this thing, were so estranged by it that, there was no longer 

A path of return, or hope for them, only a path of destruction and sorrow
After that second scream, the boy felt a sudden thud, and then crack!!
The one other person who had been able to see this observed his suffering and ended it
She just his age, thought the same & saw the same, only now, she wished that she had someone:

Someone to end her own suffering just like she had ended the boys own suffering
And she laid down & just remained, in hopes that one day
she would find or be found, by that one remaining soul, 
that one remaining soul that could soothe her & end her misery, 'ere she grow old

A Problem Exists


A problem exists in the corner of my mind, 
because of an individual 
though she committed no crime 

emotions travel back in forth 
in constant never ending conflict 
Generating endless Love & Torment 

Compassion and Hatred 
Confusion and Clarity 
Death And renewed Life 

newly discovered 
Only to die again... 

A Tribute to Masochism... or... Masochism over suicide

the crawling of the dagger into the flesh
the pealing of the flesh & flowing of the blood
the pain, the agony and the tormenting emotions...
but ohh, the pleasure..

I pull the dagger away from my skin
just for a moment, a quick glimpse in spectrum of time
And in the moment I think to myself & reflect,
viewing my decision retrospectively

I think about just what it is that I'm doing,
What I'm ending,
what I'm bringing upon myself
What my actions mean

I question why I am having this thought process
I've had it so many other countless times
all those times with myself
always repeating the same thoughts and lines

yet still, as I sit here about to kill myself
still I have this conversation, this reflection on my life
this stupid voice in my head, this stupid voice!!
I can't stand that voice... whoever let it into my head anyway?

Finally in a last minute decision
After I've bled pile upon pile of blood
I pull the dagger away from my body and close up the wound
knowing that if I ended it now,

I wouldn't be able to go through the entire process of suffering again.



Thought Fragments:

The thoughts they circle around my head dying images of those who abused me fading memories which soon are dead all they care is to gain money and deceive The evil lives on and on Forever in eternity, never dying It corrupts us and changes us until we become mindless slaves who care only for profit

sinking deeper & deeper into obscurity

I need to find the way to break these tensions

questions unanswered, problems never solved
hunger pushed away... the pain the pain the pain
hatred gnawing at my brain, assuring me I'm insane

So come on, join the fun
If you don't you're no fun & are rejected
If you do, yo make some stupid decision because of peer pressure
and in the retrospect, you realize it really wasn't worth it anyway

there you are inside of me
(inside my head inside my mind)
I love you & hate you just as I do myself
(inside my head inside my mind)
and yet you drift inside
(inside my head inside my mind)
and have more power over me than I have ever had

you claim you didn't do this to me
or that you didn't want to
but in truth, regardless of what you think
you've captured me in my purest of forms & refuse to accept this

The boy sat in his room, once again bored out of his mind. It was nothing out of the usual for him, in fact, he couldn't even remember the last time he hadn't been bored. Wait! Yes he could! As a matter of fact, he actually remembered more, a rare thing in these days for ever since that last time he had been bored he only felt and remembered numbness. Looking back on that night, perhaps it was a stupid thing for him to do, but back then what did he care, he was only 22. Back when he was 22 he wanted so badly to impress his friends, to fit in. Look where it had gotten him, in a dark, damp, smelly room inside some dungeon. What was it he did that was so tremendous, so big that it could destroy one of society's most praised & admired members? Was it the drugs, no not at all, for drugs back then were even more common than in the 21st century. Every one back then was on drugs, in fact if you weren't you would never even be able to walk out of your door, for the discrimination you faced was tremendous, and you also greatly risked arrest. I see you are confused though. I'm sure you are thinking to yourself "how could one possibly get arrested in a world of druggies", my only answer is simply they did, every day, how it occurred is meaningless. But anyway, I divert, back to the boy. The boy did nothing more than hang out with the wrong crowd. Well, not really the wrong crowd, until that night. You see there had been that night many many changes in the way things were run. The first was that their leader, the main guy who controlled the drug distribution was killed. I'm sure you wonder just how he was killed, in response I tell you that to this day the answer is still unknown & possibly never will be. Except the boy who knew the cause of his death but would not tell anyone, however as that is insignificant, I shall not delve into it any further. That night December 25th, 3025, the city was taken over by military from a country which is currently called Macbeth, if you really must know. During the invasion the boy had met a girl, whom upon first sight they instantly fell in love. Knowing that either one of them might be dead the next day, yet in love, they decided to meet each other the next day as early as possible in a secret location. Thinking to impress his friends, the boy told his friends all about her & of a tattoo she had. This turned to be his undoing. For upon telling his friends of her, the one he had considered to be his best friend then revealed a terrifying secret which he had kept from him the entire time. What he told the boy caused the boy such emotional pain & confusion. The boy could not take it any longer, in one swift blow full of anger and grief, he delivered the killing strike to his former best friend. However, it was his "friend's" last words, only three which hurt him the most: "I'm sorry son". Realizing the deed he had just comitted the boy could do nothing except fall to the ground numb from the epiphany of grief which had enveloped him all in a series of a few minutes. It was then that they came for him, and he remembered no more.